The Forest of Forgotten Dreams

The rain had softened into a drizzle by the time Avery arrived at the spa. Bianca said they were going to have a girl’s weekend, but when Avery stepped into the room, the woman was already sitting beside the window with a glass of wine, reading a book with the name “The Forest of Forgotten Dreams” stamped on the front. Avery liked that book. They were both halfway through the same section.

Bianca looked up from the book and smiled. “You’re not going to slap me for being late, are you?”

“I’d slap you for being late, but I’m not slapping you for being early,” Avery said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind them. The room was dim except for the light spilling through the rain-streaked window, and the smell of lavender oil made Avery’s nipples tighten. Bianca stood up and offered Avery the seat beside her.

“We should talk about the conference first,” Bianca said, reading the room. Avery was halfway through the sentence before Bianca cut in. “No, we should talk about the fact that you came to a spa retreat in Provence only after two emails.” Bianca paused. “You said we should avoid crowded places.”

Avery chuckled. “I was hoping this place would be too nice for me to notice that I had a problem.”

Bianca laughed and took another sip of wine. “You’ve been avoiding crowds for a month. I assumed you liked the quiet.”

Avery sat up. “I like it. I like being around people who are not rushing to leave.”

Bianca considered this. “You’ve been distant with me. I thought it was work.”

Avery hooked their thumbs behind their neck. “You said we should leave our work lives behind.”

Bianca nodded. “We did. I thought that meant we could finally talk about why you kissed me twice and vanished.”

Avery’s stomach flipped. Bianca had been teasing, but Avery had been avoiding the question.

“We can talk about it after the wine,” Avery said, though Bianca had already set another glass down beside them.

“After the wine?” Bianca asked, amused. “You’ve had three glasses already.”

“Then let’s talk about why you kissed me back when I kissed you in the lobby.”

Bianca’s smile faded. “You kissed me because you wanted to. I kissed you because I liked the taste of my own mouth on yours.”

Avery reached over and touched Bianca’s wrist. Bianca did not flinch. Avery leaned in. “Bianca.”

Bian more clearly than Avery had ever known. Bianca’s mouth parted slightly under Avery’s. Avery pulled back. Bianca followed. “Is this about the conference?” Avery asked.

“No,” Bianca said, her voice low. “It’s about the fact that I’ve been avoiding you because I was afraid of the truth.”

“I’ve been avoiding you because I don’t think I’ve been good enough for you to notice.”

Bianca reached for Avery’s hand. “You have not been avoiding me. You have been scared to tell me that you’ve been avoiding me because you liked me.”

Avery felt their chest tighten. Bianca had always said they were bisexual, but Avery had never known. Bianca’s eyes were dark with understanding, not disappointment.

“Do you think I’ve been avoiding you because I’ve been afraid of being rejected?” Avery asked. Bianca shook her head.

“No. You’ve been avoiding me because you’ve been afraid of the truth. Like you.” Bianca reached for Avery’s other hand and brought it up to her face. “Telling me that you liked me.”

The room softened under the lamplight, the untouched wine gathering dust on the table between them. Bianca’s voice remained steady, but Avery could feel the weight of every word. “You don’t have to tell me that I’m not good enough for you to notice,” Avery said quietly. “I’ve been avoiding you because I thought I wasn’t allowed to like you. That I wasn’t allowed to want you.” Bianca’s gaze lifted from Avery’s hand to meet Avery’s eyes, searching for something neither of them could name. “You thought we couldn’t do this because you liked me.” Avery felt the admission settle in their chest, a warmth blooming from the middle outwards. Bianca’s fingers traced the edge of Avery’s wrist.

“I didn’t think so either,” Bianca said. “Not at first.” Avery swallowed and met Bianca’s gaze. “So we’re both avoiding the same truth?” “We’re both avoiding the same answer,” Bianca said softly. Avery felt the tension leave their body. “What if it turns out we’re both still scared?” Bianca smiled faintly. “Then we’ll keep avoiding each other. That’s how we’ve been doing it.” Avery laughed then, a sound that felt foreign after all this time. Bianca joined in, and the room seemed to warm around them. Avery could still taste the wine, but beneath it lay something sharper, something real. Bianca pulled Avery into her lap, steadying them against the gentle tremble of Avery’s voice.

“Tell me what you want,” Bianca said. Avery hesitated. “I want to know if you’ve been avoiding me because you liked me.” Bianca’s mouth curved. “Yes.” Avery felt the answer settle into their bones. “Then why are we still avoiding each other?” Bianca kissed Avery gently on the forehead. “Because we’re both bad at honesty.” Avery laughed again, quieter this time. “We’re both bad at honesty.” Bianca held Avery close. The silence between them did not feel empty.