Blue Canvas Under Artificial Dawn

The apartment rented under Adrian's name looked abandoned except for Adrian's nameplate on the door and the smell of turpentine. Nico had seen the arrangements through a video call, and Adrian had insisted it would work: one wall of the loft let out directly onto the city's orbital hotel, where the night lights shimmered beneath the glass dome. Nico arrived with a carry-on and a nervous smile, stepping over a trail of dried blue paint smudged across the floor. Adrian stood beneath the open window, sleeves rolled up, watching him. The city below looked abandoned except for the occasional drone drifting over the rooftops.

"You're not going to call maintenance at least?"
"Only if you do," Adrian said, stepping back from the window. Nico noticed Adrian's hands were still in paint, and the blue had stained his cuffs. Adrian's voice softened. "Truck didn't come through this month."

Nico looked around. The loft had been rented with minimal furniture: a couch, a low table, and a canvas bed. Adrian explained it was because of the insulation. The orbital hotel's climate control fluctuated, and Adrian wanted to keep the place warm. Nico said nothing, only nodding. Adrian smiled. It was the same smile Adrian had shown the morning before when Nico had arrived at the spaceport, eager to leave the shuttle bay behind. Adrian had said then that he had chosen the loft because of the view. Nico liked that he admitted it. That he had chosen something for Nico.

The loft became their first evening. Adrian set up the bed with a futon and a small reading lamp. Nico sat beside Adrian while Adrian peeled another layer of dried paint from the floor. Adrian asked if there was anything else they could do, but Nico said no. Adrian waited, watching him. Nico finally admitted that he had wanted the loft because of the silence. Adrian considered him for a moment and then said, "We could leave." Nico laughed. "You mean leave this place?"

Adrian considered. Nico said nothing. Adrian finally said, quietly, "I'm here. That's all that matters." Nico looked at Adrian then and smiled, and Adrian smiled back.

The next day brought more work. Nico found Adrian painting the wall, and Adrian found Nico painting the wall. Adrian admitted that he had never understood why people collected art for themselves. Nico told him that was because he had never understood why people collected anything for themselves. Adrian laughed. "Maybe that's why I'm renting the loft. To understand that."

The days became nights became more intimate. Adrian explained that the loft had been rented with the idea of having a private place to work. Nico explained that the reason they rented together was because they had both agreed that the loft represented the best chance they had for privacy. Adrian admitted that he thought Nico would leave. Nico admitted he had considered leaving. Adrian paused and asked, plainly, "Why?"

Nico answered, "Because leaving here feels less like choice than leaving a train station." Adrian looked away briefly. Nico continued. "Because I wanted to stay. Because the silence made me feel less alone. Because the city below looked abandoned, but we weren't. We were here."

Adrian looked back. Nico hesitated. Adrian smiled and said, "Then we'll stay. For as long as we can. For as long as we want."

They did not leave. The orbital hotel continued to flicker beneath the glass dome, and the loft became their private refuge. Adrian explained that the orbital hotel was designed for short visits, but the city below it had become a stopping place for those who wanted to leave. Nico said that for him, leaving was never the goal. Adrian admitted that leaving had become a distraction. Nico smiled and said, plainly, "I'm not going to leave." Adrian looked at him, and for the first time, Adrian smiled.

The next morning arrived with the distant hum of the orbital hotel's infrastructure, a gentle vibration beneath the loft's thin floor. Adrian pulled Nico into the kitchenette with him, where he set about making tea. Nico watched him with the same tired patience he reserved for Adrian's endless explanations. Adrian handed him a cup and said, "I think I'm beginning to understand why people rent places. It's not about the walls. It's about the idea of ownership. Here, we own the silence. That's why I rented the loft." Nico nodded slowly and took a sip. "Sometimes, the idea of ownership is the only thing that stops you from leaving."

Nico found Adrian hunched over the window, watching the city below. Adrian looked up, surprised. Nico joined him. "You said the hotel was built for people who wanted to leave," Nico said quietly. Adrian looked at him. "It was built for people who wanted to leave, but couldn't. The hotel itself is rarely left. Most people watch it." Nico looked at the city, then at Adrian. "Then why did you bring me here?"

Because leaving had become a distraction. Adrian answered plainly. Nico smiled and said, "You wanted me to leave." Adrian looked at him. "I did. For a while." Nico considered that. "You wanted to leave because you thought I would. And I wanted to leave because I thought you would. We kept leaving because we kept expecting the other to go. Until we decided we wanted to stay."

The arrangement settled slowly. Adrian explained the hotel's systems, the way the colony dome filtered out the orbital traffic. Nico explained how he had found the loft through a friend who rented out spaces for those who wanted to leave without leaving. Adrian admitted that he had known from the beginning. Nico considered that. "You knew I wanted to leave, but you rented the loft anyway?" Adrian hesitated. Nico looked at him. "Because you wanted me to leave?"

Adrian reached for Nico's hand. Nico let him. Adrian said carefully, "Because I wanted you to leave. But I wanted you to leave because I wanted you to stay. It was a distraction. Leaving became a choice we made without making it. We created the illusion of leaving because we were both afraid of staying. And now we've decided we want to stay." Nico smiled and said, "Then we'll stay. For as long as we can. For as long as we want."